Admit it.. one of the most difficult things to do is saying goodbye to the people whom we  had cherished more than half of our life.

Before I knew it, I was moving to another company. Never  did I say a word to most of my friends at my previous job that I am indeed moving and taking the big leap in my career, not until my boss, announced it. It was a day before I took my terminal leave.

I tried not to cry because I don’t want people cry just because I am leaving, I don’t want them cry because this decision is something I would carry on and I would be happy with for the rest of my life.. Thus, would make me a new person.

As I move towards the door, just right after my shift, it was like my legs are getting heavier each step…. I was telling myself that tomorrow I my hands are on a different door to open, a different chair to grab and take a seat on, I would be walking on a floor foreign to me. I would be talking to someone I would yet call a "stranger"..

I am excited but anxious , was asking myself of what’s gonna happen next? All i know is that everything is new. From my wardrobe to workstation ..friends, food, car, lifestyle..

I don’t really know what is in store for me just yet, but all I know is that, these are the bars i have been talking about in the past, the bars i had put on to cover the talents I have,, and now i am free.. hello world! watch out for me! =)

Since last monday, I started to read lots of books.. Good Lord! I am done with 2 books. I am done with Francis Kong’s Just When You Think You Can’t Do It, Brother Bo Sanchez’s 8 Secrets of the Truly Rich People. And right now, I am reading Francis Kong’s Three Little Words, Blue Ocean Strategy by W.Chan Kim and Renee Mauborgne and reading Purpose Driven life for the 2nd time..

Hmmm reading helps me reflect on life…. There is only one life given to us.. unless we’re called cats hehehehe… we would have 9 lives… I thought I can’t read a lot of books for just a week.. see, when we say we can.. that’s gonna happen. We set goals to achieve what we really want in life. Like what Bro. Bo said, we attract the universe.. and I am claiming it.. I will get what I want, of course, with the right purpose, God will grant me all the things I want life to offer me.

I realize that the only thing to make us out of the shell or the so called "comfort zone" is grasping the ambiance of courage.. we have to leap out of the bars that limit us… and who limits us? ourselves.. we set the bars….

Life is a game and we are expected to perform, we have to use it wisely and live simply to serve the Lord and give back all the his blessings to our brothers and sisters…

Life is a game where we know who the players are and we know how to deal with it.. it’s just that the game field has bars that we set, unless we remove the bars, we could transfer the game field called eternity… simplicity and abundance.

Live life to the fullest!

jen - ProLIFE -

I was in Kerygma feast at the arena this morning. Confessed, attended the mass and listened to brother bo sanchez as he preaches to more than a hundred people. He had this mat and used it to easily convey what he wants us Catholics/Christians realize about our trials.. and of course, he never failed to convey God’s gift of wisdom, I realize that  we can never be comfortable with our trials, as what he said,  if we become comfortable with it, then it is dangerous. We can’t just tell ourselves that we are meant to be who we are right now, because we can always do something about it.  We can’t just say we are meant to be poor or meant to be the weakest link in the field we are exploring right now because it only means we are not still standing from the mat of life.

The mat represents our life, trials or circumstances, if we decide to stand up and pick up the mat, that means we are not comfortable being "comfortable" with our trials..

I wasn’t really born financially challenged, yet in this time of our country I would say, it is really difficult to earn money to augment family income. I told myself, "ganto na ata tlga ung pupuntahan ng buhay ko" , I have dreams that I can’t pursue yet because of #1324*46 situations hehehe (it’s kinda personal ya know) , yet, maybe it’s the Lord who spoke with me and said that I can still pursue my dreams using my current situation… then I realize that I can do what I really want, which is designing or drawing while im working,, and right now I am a freelance graphic artist.. helping SME’s or business owners who are yet starting up and need graphic designs.. and yes, I am now starting to earn extra php…  and starting to meet more and more clients now with extraordinary demands from me.. and I enjoy being an artist.. that’s what i love to do… God is really great.. he just provides when he sees that we need him..

So going back to the arena this morning, we were passing along a hallway and noticed that there is a line towards a small room.. then the cleaning lady said it’s the confession room, I smiled because since last week, i was thinking when i would go to confession, with the kind of work I have, with an enormous body clock it is really difficult to get things done. . and it’s two weeks before holy week. Without any hesitation, I sat at one of the chairs allocated for people who wanted to confess.. and when I talked to the priest, he said it was  accident that he was there, he celebrates mass at antipolo city.. he was just invited this morning.. and he was really delighted to see me there.. going back to the lord and admitted that I am sinner. see God has his ways…

Right now, as I prepare to another spiritual journey.. I am indeed blessed to be sure standing up, picking up my mat and walk the path of life..

Amen..

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I am asking you to stand my child, pick up your mat and walk with me — Jesus

"Jesus asked me how much do i love him, I spread my arms and said "this much!" , I asked him how much he loves me, he spread his arms and DIED"

To our dearest friend clarence, God bless on your new career I made this blog right after natin umiyak hahaha
We know you’ll do great girl.. kaw pa ——————————————————

In a world of people who spare a minute or two to forget about wash rooms, or forget about eating during breaks and work during the night for the sake of unending client calls, it is difficult not to give up and leave that place working even without you…

In a world where people eat on their workstations, puff a cigar and take a bottle of beer after shift for the sake of relieving stress, it is inevitable to not to bond with your friends and establish a deeper relationship with them.

In a world where people could be underemployed or under paid, or fulfilled with their employment and paycheck is good, It is difficult to leave or not to leave for the sake of personal happiness…

I’d say I am highly elevated….

For this type of people are the ones more sensitive to the difficulties and sacrifices of the nights, may it be in the highlight of the storms, or the burning summer sun’s flash .. These people are still working for these calls…. 

I’d say I am highly elevated….

For these people who may be a lot younger or older than the people who recently graduated have higher paychecks and understand every bit of stress just to please callers and build a very friendly image although at the back of their minds they wanna throw the headsets and leave their stations ….

I’d say I am highly elevated..

In a world where we have built more deeper relationships, more trusted friends and mentors it is inevitable that we cry if these people come and then eventually go… in this creative and talented world we have.. you would still find one place in every persons heart.. and yes during one of the nights in these shifts.. in one of the nights of the cries.. in one of the nights of sparing a minute or two going to  wash rooms, a lunch or two, a forgotten increase on the paycheck, a boss who is difficult to please, the plug-ins (yes clarence i Know you’d remember the "plug-ins" :)  )

I’d say I am highly elevated..

elevated in the sense that these people are the workers of their own homes..  the strugglers when their families need someone to work for them to augment family needs….

behind the gadgets, behind the iPods, behind those nasty or classy outfit… these people have missions… and I am highly elevated…

Elevated and I salute them because without these kind of people, I would never learn how to show the REAL me…

I’d say.. I am indeed elevated..

Last Saturday, i was in Teletech/PLDT building to attend a one whole day seminar through TOSP (top ten outstanding students of the philippines) , it was called Youth Hours, or let’s say, "Ang Oras ng Kabataan" (FACT: according to UN you’re called youth until the age of 35 hehehehe). Since last week, I have been thinking about what to write in my blog, I told myself it has yet to be inspiring so when I try to read my posts and getting nowhere  I can pick up myself from there. Amazingly, the very first speaker was Butch Jimenez ( Senior Vice President for Retail Business of PLDT), for the benefit of those who are not familiar with him, he was the one who addressed the graduates of 2006 of Silliman University and yes that speech was forwarded for the  nth time through e-mails..

The program started at around 9 o’clock, everyone was so nice… eloquent actually and i was really moved by their advocacy.. and here goes Mr. Butch Jimenez, I never thought he would be one of our speakers, when his name was called I said "Oh my God..thank you!"  I just can’t believe that he’d be there. He was supposed to go out of town with his family, yet he was there to address the future leaders of our country.

He imparted two important things in the lives of the youth.

1. wisdom

The country is being moved by the youth, yet adults are actually leading it. Why? because we yet lack wisdom. Wisdom is a long process, we can’t just have it overnight. Youth has yet to learn, and along the process we’ll lead eventually.

2. Execution

There are great leaders today, good in planning, great in ideas but when it comes to execution, they fall short. Execution is actually butch’s challenge to us… the corporate world would not ask for our grades.. the question that CEOs , might ask us is "CAN YOU EXECUTE?"

I then realize, that for our country to be moved and lead by more talented and deserving youth  leaders, we should practice "EXECUTION" and I believe it takes a lot of determination and commitment, time and effort yet, it pays a lot that at least we had done something for our country  instead of just watching the country fall short to its promises to us and leave our fatherland for greener pastures..

Now, our challenge is, if we really want change, are the youth ready to execute?

Change and Execution needs to start from us, we have to tell the world what our hearts desire…..

As pam said (Pam is TOSP batch xxx i can’t really remember, hehe)

" Caring for our home has to be 2nd to our skin…. "

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thank you Mr. Butch Jimenez, your speech was very enlightening.. hmm parang gusto ko na tumakbo this election ah? hehehehehe

’twas 23 years ago when my cousins and I played in the small barrio in dela paz.. we used to play with robots, toy cars, "turumpo", yoyo, etc.. .. yes these kind of toys because I grew up with all boys, Denver and Mark are my cousins who had been my all time favorite playmates. I can even recall how denver tried to catch the lizards who were all afraid to pass by the wall across the doors of our houses…  and mark who was our little brave "jose" (Jose is our lolo).

I can recall how I danced with the tunes of my titos and titas music as I tried to bite mark if he tries to dance better than I do hahahaha I guess I was the bully one.. yet I got all the toys that I wanted to give my girl cousins, the fancy lipsticks and make up kits  which I didn’t really like and just gave those away.. The dolls I gave ‘em but kept vandolph and rose anne (my favorite dolls) which I still have and yes, still in my room… (puro pentel pen na nga lang ung face ni vandolph hahahaha, I just love to draw.. )

The "patintero" and "tagu-taguan" during the nights especially if it’s total black out in our area.. all of my relatives were outside the house, my titos and titas laugh out loud when they see me trying to catch my cousins in the "agawan base" game.. well yeah it’s because all my fats were trying to jump with me too.. hehehehehe..

Until Mark’s family transfered to another home.. and so with Denver.. My family and some other relatives were left in that small place my lolo built. Everyone has grown.. had pains, were broken hearted, loved and was loved, became happy, had their families, … and continues to grow and move on from then til now…

until the wedding march…

it was Mark.. he just got married last friday… I feel so happy for him… saw my relatives too.. even got the chance to see my titos and titas who took care of me when i was so so little…..my cousins who already have their families and I really had fun playing with their kids.. yeah my nieces and nephews…

I love to recall every single thing we shared when everything was so young.. everything was a memory and i can recall every bit of the youngest of days we had as I march along the aisle… it was not me getting me married though.. not just  yet hehehe It was Mark our little jose.. Denver was there too and I heard that he has someone special now.. hehehehehe kilig naman ako kuya damboo..finally hehehehe..

Now.. that Mark has finally settled and Denver who has his special someone,  my question is… when would I walk the aisle on my own wedding march? hehehehe I don’t know if it is too soon to ask, yet I just realized that wether I’d have or would not have my own wedding march I would always have the richest love of a family that would care to be with me until the end of my days.. I may die alone or may die and leave my own family behind.. yet the memories are safe with me…

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pero kailan nga kaya ako ikakasal? hahahaha

maybe if this special man in glasgow city would ask me to….

hahhaha oi peace po sa mga taong magagalit dyan sa tabi tabi hahahaha

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I was supposed to write about a review of what happened in my life in 2006. However, what I have written in this blog is already a mirror of my roller coaster ride in year 2006 and I don’t think it’s a good idea to flash it again this time…

I was listening to Stephen Speaks’ Passenger Seat and it dawned on me that we are all passengers of life. We take the ride and at times decided to stop, at times we tried to take another route, yet we find it so difficult to get back to where we came from. We tried to find another ticket and tried to find another driver yet we know there is only one man in his greatest power who takes control of our lives - God.

NO matter how long or how profound my story of life is, it is always difficult to find one meaning for life. To find answers to questions which we are still deciding on if we would want to leave in the past or bring with us in the future is something we can’t just decide on overnight. Life is so profound that we would try to grab the maneuver of whoever drives it and just escape.

To my readers, ( well if there could be readers hahaha) I believe my blog had inspired and disapointed us in different ways. Yet, I want you to know that it is faith that makes me move on with my life. It is faith I learned from a great friend who is fighting against sickness which I would bring on as years pass by, as I grow older and pass on to generations of my own blood.

I wanna leave this quote of Osvaldo Soriano from his book "The Shadows"  as we start our lives with love and faith.

"In life, there is only one last maneuver, a down shift or a twist on the wheel but never the breaks, once you step on the breaks. It is finished"

It is faith that we moved on.. It is faith that will keep us free from shadows…. We are even born from  faith, we’ll die with the greatest faith and greatest desire of claiming the salvation we have always dreamed of..

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I moved on to the parking lot and drove far away from the past….I heard a voice of a man whose voice deep within touched every beat of my heart.

"Have faith my child, you are my passenger, I will keep you safe. Will you take this ticket? or will you step on the breaks?" - God.

Without a doubt, I took the last ticket… I am ready my father.

I got six wishes this Christmas.. I got even more than these wishes and I wanna prove that it is always right to save the best for last…….

Just got a new phone from Roy.. Thank you Roy grabe… I got it on the 24th tlgang humbol pa nung Christmas hehehehe salamat tlga.. grabe babawi ako sa inyo ni ms malou as soon as you get home..

I never got the ipod pero I received an mp3+radio naman from may Tl.. so sobrang cool diba hehehehe ang hapy ng Christmas!!

and of couse… from my best bud alvin, ung card reader and web cam hehehe naiyak pa ko,, no ba yan.. kainis ka tlga..

and siempre mga body lotion and body wash from my best friend and joy.. hehehe nakakatuwa kasi alam nila na mas gusto ko un kesa make up.. hahaha

and malalaking bags from Bong and Mj.. hehehe ang galing nila pumili ng bags.. soooo me…

and cookies from cachu.. hmm ay yung ballpen na may star from Susi and Jeff.. hmm and maraming maraming greetings.. and siempre ung spending Christmas with my family, walang kaparis!! hehehehe

and the least I expect to receive..  a message from a friend I long to see…

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1. Makita ka

2. New Phone

3. Ipod

4. Makita ka

5. Sana makharap ko si Santa para matupad ung wishes number 1 and 4….

extra wish number 6.

Sana maibalik ko ung September 4, 2006.. babalik ka rin ba?